I’ve been down some deep rabbit holes over the previous few years.
After I discover one thing that sparks my curiosity, I turn out to be obsessive about studying every part I can about it.
I’ve found issues like astrology, human design, David Kibbe’s fashion system, shade evaluation, and Ikigai, all of which have led me to a deeper understanding of myself and my private preferences.
I’ve had a-ha seconds after studying that my astrology placements can clarify my love for writing or that outsized, stylish garments don’t work on me as a result of I’m a Delicate Basic in Kibbe’s fashion system.
These techniques and labels might be useful as a result of they validate and ensure what we already find out about ourselves. They assist us title complicated ideas and supply parameters that cut back evaluation paralysis.
However there’s one drawback.
My curiosity in these techniques and persona checks begins as excited curiosity after which shortly slips into an all-consuming have to get every part ‘proper.’ It’s straightforward for an curiosity to turn out to be an obsession (and because of Reddit, I do know I’m not the one one).
So are these techniques truly useful in the event that they trigger us to hyperfocus on making the ‘finest’ or ‘proper’ choice?
Right this moment I’m sharing what I’ve realized from these techniques, how we discover which means by means of them, and why I actually suppose we prefer to label ourselves.
The rise of containers and labels
Let’s begin by speaking about completely different techniques and labels so that you perceive what I’m referring to.
Forewarning: after studying this, it’s possible you’ll fall into a few of your individual rabbit holes.
Kibbe Physique Varieties
Launched within the Eighties, David Kibbe’s fashion system is predicated on 13 picture identities. These identities aren’t associated to the everyday fruit physique shapes (apple, pear, and so forth.) however relatively how proportionate you look, whether or not you’re extra angular or rounded, and the way tall or brief you appear.
The thought is to decorate in a means that enhances your pure options. Maybe you’ve at all times struggled to make clothes developments work, however you couldn’t determine why. Your Kibbe physique kind would possibly offer you some clues.
You’ll be able to attempt to determine which kind you’re utilizing on-line quizzes, however solely David Kibbe himself can provide an correct typing. Due to this exclusivity, folks really feel they haven’t any selection however to find out their very own kind, and there are subreddits to assist folks determine it out.
It’s all good enjoyable if you’re getting began, however it will possibly shortly turn out to be irritating if you don’t fall neatly into one class or get caught making an attempt to comply with the rules.
Shade Evaluation
Shade evaluation (aka discovering your “finest colours”) is one other system from the 80s that’s come again in full drive. Are you a winter, summer time, spring, or autumn? Are you heat or cool, vivid or muted, mild or deep?
They are saying realizing your colours will aid you look harmonious in your garments, and also you gained’t should put on as a lot make-up as a result of the colours will do the be just right for you (the truth that that is primarily focused at girls bettering their appears to be like is a subject for one more time).
The issue is that some folks fall neatly into these seasons and others don’t. I’m embarrassed to confess that I’ve thrown my cash at 5 completely different digital shade analysts solely to have all of them inform me I’m in several seasons.
I can hear you saying, “Simply put on the colours you want!” Sadly, my mind can’t appear to let me do this now that I find out about shade evaluation. The perfectionist in me desires an identical wardrobe.
Astrology
Astrology is a system that helps us perceive ourselves and others by means of the motion of the planets. Maybe it’s a generational factor or simply the bubble I’m in, however astrology appears much less taboo as we speak than it was up to now.
Astrology can provide you a greater understanding of who you’re and aid you interpret your present part of life. You could know you’re a Leo, however are you aware the place the moon was if you had been born and the way that will have an effect on your emotional wants? Or how about the place Mars at present is and the way that will have an effect on your motivation ranges?
Due to its potential to interpret future occasions, the quote goes: “Millionaires don’t have astrologers; billionaires do.”
Whereas astrology might be useful if you understand how to make use of it, utilizing it within the mistaken means can create adverse stereotypes and generalizations.
Human Design
There’s one other system associated to astrology known as Human Design which may help you perceive methods to stay your every day life with ease.
Relying in your kind, you’ll be able to decide whether or not one of the best use of your power is to be an initiator of recent concepts (Manifestors), to be a workhorse and get issues executed (Mills), to comply with your many pursuits (Manifesting Generator), to be a information to others (Projectors), or to easily observe the world and mirror again what you be taught (Reflectors).
This one opened my eyes to the concept our fashionable world tells everybody they should be initiators and workhorses, but many individuals aren’t designed to make use of their power that means (maybe that is one purpose why burnout and persistent fatigue are so prevalent as we speak).
Why we put ourselves in containers
Possibly you’ve gone down the identical rabbit holes as I’ve, or maybe these techniques have by no means piqued your curiosity.
Both means, we people prefer to put folks into containers even after we say we don’t.
The query I discover myself asking is: What am I REALLY looking for to grasp about myself by means of these techniques?
For me, the attraction is a set of parameters which have the potential to make my life simpler.
If I do know that I’m a sure physique kind within the Kibbe system and my shade season is True Autumn, possibly I’ll waste much less cash on garments that don’t swimsuit me.
If I do know that I’m an INFJ within the Myers-Briggs Kind Indicator, I can really feel higher about my want for alone time.
Maybe all of that is to say that I’m a perfectionist who desires a algorithm to comply with as a result of I feel that can make my life simpler.
However is looking for an outdoor system as an inner guidebook the best way to go?
In an version of Oliver Burkeman’s publication titled ‘Techniques vs. life’, he writes:
Many people yearn to discover a system or algorithm or life philosophy that would by some means stay life for us, on our behalf, so that when we’d pledged allegiance to the rulebook, we wouldn’t should face the messiness and discomfort of truly displaying up, second after second.
If I actually dig deep, I would like these techniques to offer me confidence in myself after I really feel unworthy.
Possibly if I comply with the foundations and pointers completely, I gained’t should take care of any discomfort that makes me really feel self-conscious.
However life doesn’t work that means.
Changing into too reliant on an outdoor algorithm means we lose our private preferences within the seek for what’s proper or good.
The hunt for self-understanding shouldn’t turn out to be a pursuit of perfection.
Are these techniques pointless?
So, if we will’t depend on these containers and techniques to outline who we’re, does that imply they’re fully pointless?
I don’t suppose so. In any case, they may help us make sense of the world and discover which means in summary methods.
It’s completely comprehensible to need a sense of which means in life since nobody desires to waste their time and power. However looking for the proper system and making an attempt to comply with it to a T would possibly finish in wasted time and power anyway.
A part of the enjoyable of life is seeing what involves us after we’re not pushing, not looking for solutions, and never making an attempt to make issues good. All it’s a must to do is ‘be’ – you’ll be you both means.
In the long run, making an attempt to depend on any system apart from your individual interior realizing will lead you additional away from what you need and want.
Let your self include multitudes
Figuring out your persona traits or discovering your good colours isn’t essentially going to alter your life or provide the confidence you search.
There’s nothing mistaken with utilizing these sorts of techniques and labels; you simply should method them from a spot of curiosity relatively than perfection. In the event that they’re not enjoyable anymore, it might be time to let go.
In case you actually wish to really feel assured in your self, settle for which you can be a number of issues without delay. Be okay with being undefinable. Create your individual pointers for all times as an alternative.
I write this as a message to you and to myself. It’s what I would like to listen to to cease getting so caught up within the particulars.
